You Don't Have To Have Sex!...despite what Cosmo will tell you

"Get Naked!"  

Glance at the cover of Cosmopolitan Magazine this month and this is the message you get. 

"The Sex Quiz You MUST Take!" "The Erotic Touch That Will Practically Melt His Boxer Briefs" 

Log on to their website and you can learn about "The 20 Shoes That Turn Him On," "The 10 Hottest Texts To Send You Guy," and "Naughty Ways To Be A Tiger In The Bedroom." 

It's not just Cosmo. Most magazines promote sex, sexy behavior or how to please your man. Characters in television shows and on reality TV are constantly having sex. Shows like '16 & Pregnant' have made teenage moms into celebrities. On 'The Jersey Shore,' "smushing" is the goal of most of the boys, and at one point, Sammi tells the camera (of her and Ronnie) "Of course we had sex, that's what you do when you like someone!"

Educating the public about sex is great, and if you decide to have sex, it is your decision and nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about, however, sometimes as a teenager it can seem like everyone and everything around you is telling you that you are supposed to have sex. This overload of messages is confusing. It you don't feel like you are ready to have sex, or if you want to wait, then it feels like there is something wrong with you. 

This post is just to remind you that if you want to wait, you can wait. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX. Even if your boyfriend puts pressure on you, or your friends tell you that you should, or every magazine you pick up tells you that you should.....if you don't feel ready, you don't have to do it. 

If your boyfriend tells you he will break up with you if you don't have sex with him, he's not a good boyfriend and he's not looking out for you or caring about your feelings. If you have had sex before...even if you've done it 1,000,11 times before...but you aren't in the mood to do it one day, or don't want to do it anymore, you don't have to! You get to decide every single time, and as much pressure as it feels like there sometime is, you can say no. 

So, just to reiterate--and compete with the hundreds of messages you get every day telling you the opposite-- 

You don't have to have sex; not to have a strong relationship, not to make someone like you, not to fit in, not to be cool, not to prove that you love someone, not to get someone to stay, not to make someone feel better, not because someone buys you dinner, not because someone gives you a gift, not because you already have, not to make someone happy, not because someone had a bad day, not because all your friends are doing it, not because everyone on tv is doing it, not to be sexy, not to make boys want you, not to make sure you are not a tease, not to prove anything at all. If it doesn't feel right, and you don't want to do it, YOU DON'T HAVE TO!